‘Who am I that you are mindful of me?’
I want to share one of my most recent journal entries with you. I am not doing this to say ‘look at me I get it’ or ‘look at me I am such a good christian’ because If I am honest, I am not and don’t get it all. I am wicked to my core, I want to think, say and do wicked things, and it’s only through the grace of Christ that I don’t sometimes.
This is a look into my life, and the things I am struggling with, because deep down I know that I am not the only one who thinks like this or who struggles with certain things. I want to present this to you in the most humble way as possible. I think that this could be useful to someone, so if you think you know someone point them this way.
Like I say mid way through the entry, these things I talk about struggling with are not new concepts, people have struggled with this since the time that our Lord walked this earth, and people will struggle with this until He returns again. So I hope there is something to learn from this; (more…)
My qualms with e-readers finally put to words
As most of my friends would testify I haven’t jumped on board with this whole e-reader movement yet. I have been hesitant to say the least. Which is a far turn from the person I was a year ago, I would have bought one without hesitation and probably without the ‘real’ money to buy one. A lot has changed in me over the years, praise God. To illustrate how ‘unmoved’ I have been by the e-reader movement we are currently in I will recap a conversation I had with a really good friend of mine, whom has already purchased a Nook and his fiance.
Me: “Friend, how do you like your Nook?”
Friend: “I love me Nook, it has been a great tool for me, and it works well.”
Fiance: ” He loves it” everyone chuckles
Me: ” I’m just weary of this movement, I’m not sure I will be getting an e-reader anytime soon, I love books too much”
Friend: “Yeah but it’s so great! You’ll get one, I know you” (more…)
Abide in me, and I in you
There are many themes that run through the Bible, and there are many different things that God is calling his children and faithful followers to, but lately one theme has shone brighter to me than all the rest.
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15: 4-5 ESV
This is just a brief glimpse into this post. I have really enjoyed reading through, praying about, and learning from God about this section of scripture this past year. It has really helped shape me and my mindset for doing ministry and living my life for Christ amongst many other life circumstances. To read the rest of this post, visit the Veritas blog here, and while there maybe take a peak at some of the other posts my peers have been writing.
Don’t Waste Your Cancer
Do you ever come across a story that tears you apart inside? I am an emotional person, which leads me to believe that our God is emotional, and if this video and story doesn’t make you emotional, then I will be left speechless and confused (but still confident in God). The story of Zac Smith is remarkable, but not for the reason you would think. Watch this short clip, I promise its worth it and then stay tuned for some discussion thoughts.
The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.
You might ask, how is this story remarkable, you are sadistic, he still has cancer and might not live till next year! But thats what is remarkable to me, that this man, this mere man is much more with Christ. That he is so confident in his Savior that he can still praise God even though he may never be able to walk his daughter down the aisle, or see his sons turn into men. How strong is your faith? Would you react the same way Zac did when faced with a life changing event such as this? How would you glorify God in your suffering? Do you even have a theology for suffering? This video is so great because it just reminds me of how much we all need Christ and how much He really did for us.
I challenge you to take a moment and pray for Zac, but don’t pray out of pity or some selfish desire to say ‘see God I pray too, I help people’. But pray out of thankfulness for men like Zac, men who help us remember why we truly live day in and day out, to glorify God in all that we do. Pray also for Zac’s family, and that they would know that their comfort comes in Christ just as Zac’s does, that of course things are going to be hard when Zac dies, but that Christ is our foundation and that He is theirs as well. So pray for Zac and his family and pray for yourself, pray that you would know the love of Christ like Zac does.
Waste Land and its lasting impact on my life
Two weekends ago I attended the True/False film festival in Columbia Missouri, I love films so this is a natural treat for me and thousands of others in Columbia. The True/False film festival is comprised of documentary films, some of them advocates for social justice, some of them telling a cute and funny story, others are on everyday life that we just don’t see. Amongst all the great films that I saw, and some that I didn’t but heard were great one stuck out to me more than the rest. If you are one of my friends or saw me at all that weekend, you know which film I am about to mention, Waste Land by Lucy Walker. This film was more than just creatively done, beautifully captured with a well told story, it was convicting.
Give us this day our daily bread
Uncertainty, the unknown, darkness, anxiety, confusion, unpredictability, vagueness, wonder, worry. All words we associate with our future, all words we associate with how we live our daily lives. I don’t know one person in my life who doesn’t think about their future and one of these words pops up in their thoughts or in their situation. I know this is the case for me, just ask some of my closest friends, I get anxious about whether I am in the right line for a film at True/False or whether I am driving too fast on my way to L’abri, sometimes I feel like some of these words never escape me, and I know I’m not alone. (more…)
My time with support raising
Sometimes it’s hard to understand what support raising is and the function that it holds with christian ministries. For those of you who don’t know what support raising is let me explain a little. Support raising is, well, fundraising in some senses, done by lots of christian ministries for certain activities or events. For instance some missionaries who are traveling to another country to help with a christian ministry are asked to raise support before they go, other ministries like those on college campuses, inner city youth programs or other non-profit ministries ask their staff members to raise support. The actual task of raising support goes something like this; (more…)
Ah, the good ole days
Since graduating from the University, and moving on to ‘life’ I have realized that I miss a lot of the things that I did while in college. It seemed like I had more time to do random things, like going on camping trips before the semester starts with two of my good friends. I guess one thing that hinders these wonderful trips is the fact that I am in the City of Kansas and not Columbia where everyone else is that would be able to adventure with me. All my friends, though they are good ones, in KC are in one of the following; a.) Grad school, Law or MBA, b.) Full-time job, c.) too cool for school. Though i probably shouldn’t be able to go on these trips I really want to, and I miss them. This comes up after I found my photos on my camera from my glorious adventure to Minnesota/Canada. Well it would have been Canada if Jeff and I wouldn’t have forgotten our passports and Patrick would go back on his vow never to leave America. I also came across Jeff’s blog about his year in review and it made me think about mine.
Glorious as it is, it feels good to say, I can’t do that now, Im an adult. But am I really? Im not so sure I would classify myself there yet, let me get a few more dollars under my belt and I will classify myself there. Anyways, enjoy the pics of our trip, and the good ole days.
God is in control, and thats a good thing!
This is a post that I have written for today on Veritas Mizzou’s blog. I hope you like it!
God is in control, and that’s a good thing!
If you guys are like me you tend to try and control as many things in your life as possible. This could include finances, grades, work, what people think of your image, how smart you are, what kind of car you drive, if you can eat, what you wear, what you read and watch, who you talk to and what about, to name just a few. Every now and then we are thrown a curve ball; an F on our latest test, a speeding ticket on the way to church, fired from work and no income, some topic or global phenomenon we cant understand, amongst many other ‘inconveniences’ in our days. At this point if you are anything like me you get frustrated, defeated, mad, angry, sad and just plain upset. We like to control our lives, it’s a known fact, we try and do as much as we can to control every aspect of our lives, and sometimes it just doesn’t work out.
The other day I was reading a passage out of Luke that helped me calm some of my anxiety about situations in life. Jesus speaking to his disciples said;
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? … O you of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. 30 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 Instead seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you.” Luke 12: 22-26, 29-31 (ESV)
What a wonderful passage, this little section here in Luke helps me remember that I need not worry or be anxious for I have an awesome God! In this little section there are three reasons why we need not be anxious; The first is found in verse 23, “For life is more than…” fill in the blank. I believe that this verse speaks for it self, our life is more important than food and clothes. The second is found in verse 24, “of how much more value are you” Humans are the most valuable of all God’s creation, for humans were the only things created in God’s image (Gen. 1: 27), because God gave the human race dominion over all the earth and its creatures (Gen 1: 28), and because God gave his only Son to die for us (John 3: 16) because he loves us so much! The third is in verse 25; because no one has enough control over his own life even to “add a single hour to his span of life” There is nothing in our power as human beings that allows us to do this!
Do not seek does not mean to give up and neglect to work and support ourselves, it serves as a warning, a warning that we should not continually be seeking what to eat, and what to wear, or what to drive. Jesus gives us the example of the birds in verse 24 and explains to us that if God should care to feed the ravens then he will surely care to feed you also. To be anxious, then, demonstrates a lack of trust in God, who promises that he will graciously care for “all these things”. So what then do we seek, what then do we do if we aren’t to be anxious over these things? Jesus gives us exactly what we are looking for in verse 31; “Instead seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you.” We should be seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness! What a great promise to hold on to! I like the way Matthew ends this little section of passage;
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6: 34 (ESV)
Why i love documentaries…
So I have a new favorite TV show, it’s a serial, meaning that you do not need to watch one episode after the next to understand the story being told, in fact this show is unique in the sense that the characters are different every week, we meet new people who are important in their own way in the meta-narrative. The show is not very popular, in fact i only know a few people who have watched it and know what im talking about, one person asked if i was confused with the NPR show, that i believe this TV serial is based on. The show im talking about is not a drama like Lost or Fringe like what i really enjoy watching but is called This American Life.
There is a larger story being told here, which is composed of little stories from coast to coast. For those of you who know me, im fascinated by documentaries, it’s easily my favorite genre of film and now television. I love here true stories about people from all over, doing things that only fill our imagination and drama series’. So i started to think, why do i have such a fascination with documentary films and such, why do i really enjoy watching and engaging in the stories that are being told? Most of the stories we see in documentaries are sad, take Confessions of A Superhero for example, sad, depressing, hurtful, i feel for those people because they believe so deeply in something that everyone on the outside of their lives sees as a joke. As a form of comedic relief, as a fake, as a loser, but they believe deeply in acting, they think whole heartedly that they will make it.
Maybe it’s the human condition that im fascinated with, maybe its idea that there is so much going on around me that inside my little bubble, even the slightly larger bubble that includes my friends and family i dont see these remarkable stories. We are so blind to the fact that there are real people facing real issues, doing real things, and living real lives outside of our bubbles. Maybe its only me, maybe im having some revelation right now, maybe im just venting because i feel for the people who i see on the TV, or maybe, just maybe i have realized for the first time that people have real lives. Things and stories form around everybody, it’s not just the people immediately in my life, but the girl who passes by me on the sidewalk, and the guy who bought the coffee before me, what about the police officer who pulled over the SUV driving through campus at 1, both him and the girl who committed the crime both have stories. We all have stories, thats what makes all of us unique, and the greatest part, the thing that humbles me and really shows my finite ability, is that God knows these stories! God knows our pains, God knows our feelings, God knows each and every one of our stories. God is watching This American Life all the time, God is not only watching This American Life, but he is also watching This (fill in any country or person here) Life.
To say that i love that TV serial is a understatment, i dont have the words to describe to you my feeling for it. It’s great, i love being able to see the workings of other people, the stories that make up our existence, i love the very idea that there is more to this world than just me, i may not act like it all the time, or very often, but i think that is why i love documentaries, they show to us the unthinkable, the expose our inability to think outside of our lives. It shows me, on some level, how much i need God, how much i need to be, and am, thankful for Jesus Christ.
A truly remarkable story…
A man by the name of Richard Leroy Walters died two years ago. You might ask why that is significant, you might even ponder a possible relationship between this man and I. Mr. Walters was from Arizona, Phoenix to be exact. I have never been to Arizona, or even close to that area. Mr. Walters was 76 at the time he died, he loved NPR, we never met, i don’t know much about Mr. Walters. But his story fascinates me. Do you ever come across a story or a news article that just really makes you think, that just really turns a new knob somewhere inside of you that you had no idea was there. The knob was crusted over, or ‘hardened’ or perhaps it froze. Well my knob was knocked of its debris when i gazed upon this delightful little story.
Mr. Walters lead a pretty normal life for anyone who was born in 1931, he graduated from college with an engineering degree, actually he was an honors graduate from Purdue where he also got his masters, he was a marine and probably fought in a few wars. He worked for AlliedSignal Corp where he retired from. He had no wife or kids and his brother was not a part of his life. Mr. Walters became homeless, he had no car to get around in and he would call people from a phone in the hospital where he would go to get food. He visited a seniors home for a while where he befriended a nice lady by the name of Rita Belle who was just a nurse. She cared about and for Mr. Walters when he would come in. He became special to her. Then he died. Normally we would feel some sorrow and pain for Mr. Walters and that would be it, but this story gets better.
Mr. Walters died an atheist. Rita was devout Catholic. Rita was surprised and said “that just blew my mind that somebody could not believe in the Lord.” However, she still cared for him. She became his nurse, helping him when he became ill. She also cared for him when she found out he was homeless, she showed unconditional love to a man who didn’t believe in God, and had one possession, a radio. This story gets better yet. The senior home Rita volunteered at mission, a Catholic non-profit organization became beneficiaries of $400,000. They were just one of ten places, all non-profit that would do so. What does this have to do with Mr. Walters, well it came from him. Mr. Walters died with an estate worth $4 million, all of which was entrusted to ten different places and Rita Belle.
I believe Christians and people all over need to take a page from Mr. Walters book. Mr. Walter, was homeless, car-less, phone-less, material-less and never complained. Rita, who became great friends with Mr. Walters and was a beneficiary of his estate, said “He just gave up all of the material things that we think we have to have. You know, I don’t know how we gauge happiness. What’s happy for you might not be happy for me. I never heard him complain.” A man, who was an atheist, followed doctrine from God, without knowing it. This man lead an example filled life, sure he had his faults, he was human, meaning he was broken, but this man, lead more of a Christian life, than I do sometimes. More of a Christian life than the majority of Americans who call themselves Christians, he sacrificed everything he had for what? He didn’t need anything, he was happy, he had something, but what?
I think a note needs to be taken from Mr. Walters. I don’t think we need to give up our faith, cars, homes, and phones, but we do need to think, what’s important to me? Happiness was important to Mr. Walters, and he had that, so everything else, was just extra.
Art vs Science
“Every great quotation, every poem, every communication possesses both science and art. By ‘science’ i mean raw content, the thought or message the communicator wishes to express. I’m asked a question; i think of an answer. I’m involved in a disagreement; i prepare a response. I’m asked to explain my actions; i begin to build a logical, factual, orderly defense. But how to say it– that’s art. by ‘art’ i mean the style of the communication: choice of words, phrasing, timing, emphasis. We are all scientists and artists. Every time we open our mouths we have something to say, and every time we speak we constantly and almost unconsciously select and arrange our words for maximum effect.” Tim Downs, Finding Common Ground
How great is that, maybe I’m just a communication nut, maybe i just view communication in the same way and understand its profound implications on peoples lives, and you are sitting back wondering, “when is he going to talk about ‘real’ art, and why its much better than photons and neutrons!?” Well that is not the purpose of this blog and i am sorry if i lead you on, but now that i have your attention listen up, communication is key. Key to what you might ask, well my answer is key to everything!
Think back on your favorite book or poem, and for those of you who are checking out now, think about your favorite newspaper/magazine, or even film. Why is it your favorite? What makes it that much better than the other books/poems/newspapers/magazines/films you have witnessed before? Think hard about it, now say it out loud, “it just spoke to me, the way it was put together, it just flowed.” Right now i want to pat the author/director on the back, they did their job, they have figured out the science and art of communication, and have done it in a powerful way. Most of us are not as lucky, trust me, i am one of the unfortunate people who have to think conscientiously about what i am going to say and whether or not it makes sense. So if you have been wondering whether it was you or not, trust me, this blog doesnt make sense to half the people who read it!
Seeing as this is my blog, i am going to tell you which way i tend to lean when i think about my communication and how it comes off. Art. Maybe thats just becasue art is more facinating to me than science, its not that i dont like hard facts, planets, aliens, microbiology, or atom colliders that are potentially going to cause a black hole inside of our planet, its just more facinating (must be the way im hardwired). So how i say things, with what type of tone, attitude or directional force of words i choose is, to me, more powerful than what i saying. Like i said earlier, i am limited and really have not figured out how to do this on a great scale, but Tim Downs has, take this example;
“Patrick Henry left us the immortal words, ‘I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!’ Would his thoughts have achieved the same longevity if he had said, ‘ I don’t care what you fellows do, I’m going to throw in with the revolution’? FDR warned us, “The only thing we have to hear is fear itself.’ Would his words have struck as deeply if he had said, ‘the biggest thing we have to worry about is our own paranoia’?” Finding Common Ground
I just feel that if we really want to get our point across, if we want people to remember what we said, or how we feel about topic A or exhibit B, we need to worry more about the art of our communication, not what we are saying. Even though what we are saying is important, and the reason why we are speaking/writing/drawing/communicating in the first place, its just something i want people to think about.
To sum up my point, Plato speaks on communication, that in my mind is beautiful. What is said here is true, it drives home a message, it is beautiful to read and listen to, and has stayed fresh in our world for a long time, the true art of communication at its best;
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”
The world around me
I have always fallen in love with a wide variety of things over the 22 years of my life. Things ranging from soccer, camping, food, technology, reading, art, films, writing, baseball, pubs, science, beer, God, the outdoors and much more. Like i said a wide variety of activities and hobbies that most people would find in a group of five people, are all found in one person, me. I’m not saying that’s a good thing or a bad thing, its more or less just interesting, ask your friends what their hobbies are, usually they are all based around a few things, outdoors, shopping, sports, food, etc. but rarely do they have a multiplicity of items as this red head does. Another thing that i realized, is that most of what i love, which is a lot, the majority of them can be found in there best form, outside of where i reside. Most of these take form in their purest and sweetest surroundings outside of the United States. Here is just a few of these items and where they can be located at their best;
1. Beef, steak, meat, goodness. I have read and heard that the finest steaks can be found in Argentina, where they do things traditionally. They do not spend years making up the best barbeque sauce to top the ribs, they dont add bacon to a filet, and they dont throw away what we would see as scraps, they cook it all, and cook it well. In a recent article i read in Outside magazine, Steven Rinella (food specialist for Outside) took a challenge to find the best steaks, He landed in Argentina where over 9 days he toured the country and ate close to 22 pounds of beef. “Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we eat meat. And we eat meet the day after those days, too.” Sounds like my type of place.
2. Soccer, futbol, “foot fairies”, pure sport. That’s right, my favorite sport of all is soccer, i have played it for many years and love to keep up on it every season at all levels. However the sport is like David and Goliath when compared to the US with the US being the miniature version of David, we just don’t understand good sports here in the states yet, YET! My favorite sport can be found all over Europe but I place it in one spot, Manchester. That’s right home of the defending EPL (English Premiere League) champions for three years in a row, the same team who is defending the Champions league title, the team with the best player in the world Christiano Ronaldo, and the most winning-est manager in any sport Sir. Alex Ferguson, you can find my favorite team, who has none of these, Manchester City. I have never rooted for a team that seems to just win every year, but i like it that way, cause one day, i will have my victory with every other supporter of the respective teams.
3. Snowboarding, carving the slopes, peace, enjoyment. Two words, Swiss Alps. Enough said.
4. Film, cinema, cine, cinema verite, movies. Cannes is in France, Afrika film festival (in Belgium not Africa), Berlinale are a few of my favorite film festivals, that i have never been to because of their locations. France, Belgium, Germany let me just buy a plane ticket real fast and fly over there, not to mention they are all in different parts of the year. I will survive on True/False while i can.
5. Beer, brew, pubs, drinky, Guinness. Yep my favorite beer is Guinness and where is best served at? Europe, anywhere in Europe really, you couldnt find a pub in the EU that didnt serve Guinness. Bummer for me, im here in the states.
6. Technology, science, WWW, iPhoneish phones, circutboards. The best technologies are in China, Japan and most of the Asian countries and also some places in Europe. Again, bummer.
All these are great, i wish i could have them all the time, or just fly to one of these locations whenever i wanted a quick fix. But something i realized while writing this blog was that i am in love with where i am. I dont need all these things next to me all the time, if i did i would be writing about how i wish i could find more time somewhere. Think about the things you love the most, or the things that intrigue you the most, where can you find them? Do they really represent your life? What would it be like without them? Well i can tell you i am happy, even when these things are so far away, why? Well i will tell you its my faith. It doenst matter where i am in the world that is one thing that is going to always travel with me, my belief in God and that above all else, he will always satisfy me as long as i love and adore Him.
Why I Love Missouri!
Man I love Missouri, for so many reasons its hard to just put a finger on one reason, so i decided i would list you 7 reasons why i love Missouri. These reasons span from personal reasons to reasons that everyone should love and desire to be in Missouri. I may somethings that you don’t agree with, personally just remember that these are MY reasons for loving Missouri. So lets get started shall we?
7. Reason five is sort of simple, I love Missouri because I was born and raised here. This seems kind of silly but really think about where you were born and grew up and what kind of connection you have with that place, if you feel connected then maybe you are like me if not, then i don’t know.
6. Colors, the colors in the seasons here are wonderful. In the fall, you get to see some trees with some absolute beautiful colors, and you get to also see the wonderful piles of leaves on the ground that just have mixes of reds, oranges, browns and yellows. Then we have winter, man the snow covered on the green or the brown of trees and bushes and the ground what is not more beautiful than snow, I mean at times I am just breath taken at the beauty of winter. Then there is spring and summer when the trees and bushes and grass is lush and green and the flowers bloom, what a sight!
5. Missouri has a good mixture of music. I have seen and heard a lot of bands from Missouri that are quite good, they may not be your local famous band from Omaha or New Jersey but they are great local bands with lots of talent. Also there are tons of bands who travel and tour through Missouri, whether it be in St. Louis, Columbia or Kansas City you can almost find your favorite band playing in Missouri while on tour. The freakin Eagles are coming to Mizzou, I mean point and case!
4. Travel, this one seems kind of odd, but really think about it for a second. Missouri is pretty much in the middle of the United States, if you want to go somewhere whether it be California, Florida, New York or Texas its almost all the same distance and price! Heck you can even drive a lot of places because you start off so close!
3. Sports, professional and collegiate level sports in Missouri are up there! I mean the last time that any major team from Missouri did well in something is too far back for me to remember unless you are a St. Louis fan then it was just a couple of years, im not though. However I do like the fact that they have some good fans (that slightly outweigh the bad fans). I mean as bad as the Chiefs and Royals are I can watch them over and over again, complain and still surf their websites till i have had my fill. Also Mizzou is finally getting back up there so that is exciting to watch develop.
2. The people, this is like a catch all because you are thinking what about the people. Well I think that everything makes the people in Missouri great! You have a nice mixture of personalities here, you get the business straightforward people from the East who know what they want and will get it. Then you have the laid back West-Coast homies who just like to hang out and talk and watch good films and listen to music. Then you get the southern hospitality folks who just love to be nice and genuine people. Then my favorite of the bunch are the hybrids and the mixs of people who have a little bit of everything in them! Its just makes for a fun crowd to hang out with.
1. My number one reason why I love Missouri is the number one reason why most people hate it! If you want to try and guess it then don’t skip down to the next line yet…..to bad im going to tell you anyways, its the weather! The weather in Missouri is so hit and miss that its great. Most people call the weather here inconsistent but i would argue that at least for me its just the opposite! I think that the nice mixture of weather really matches my personality and my feelings on what i want for weather. Sometimes i dont know if i want cold weather or hot weather but i can always wake up and no matter what time of the year it is expect to get one extreme or the other and not be surprised. Like today for instance, its 65 degrees outside, its also January 31st? Does that make sense to you? Probably not, but to me i wasn’t surprised! That is the number one reason why i love Missouri!
I think that there are many reasons to love the place that you live, i thought that i would shortly share mine with you. It’s interesting to think about that sometimes, what makes the place you live, the place God has blessed you with so great? God really does love his people when you think about it, to have a place as beautiful as Earth to live and to not even deserve to live here, man thats great. Bless Him!
I mean its just absolutely amazing sometimes!
A refreshing return to the “real world”
So as most of you know myself and 41 other students took a mission trip to Jamaica this past winter break. We were located in the small impoverished valley town called Harmons in the Manchester District. We left the states on the 11th of January and returned on the 18th of January right before break. While down in Harmons we completed multiple tasks including building two 12×12 houses, hauling marl, working in the school, and building relationships with the local Jamaicains. The expereince was mind-blowing to say the least, and life changing to say even more. Since being back on this trip I have noticed many of the life changing aspects here in Columbia Missouri that I speak about. Some of which almost make me sick to my stomach.
I have the delightful opportunity to return to a fraternity here on campus, I love my fraternity for all its worth, I have spent three and half years there and would call myself a proud member, most of the time. Since returning I have realized why they have specified trip for Greek students to go down to Harmons Jamaica. We need it almost as much if not more than anyone else. Greek college students are interesting to me, currently being a Greek college student helps me look from the inside out, and sometimes the outside in. This unique view must be taken when talking about a Christian relationship, and a walk with Christ. There are many reasons why it is healthy to look uniquely at the Greek college students and some of these reasons are incorporated into my sickness when moving back into the fraternity house.
1. I have noticed that the amount of quality conversations that I have with people have gone down tremendously. The sad part is I have noticed at least for the past few days that I have been back that I also contribute to these lackluster conversations between myself and friends. So to change this i am going to intentionally, whether it becomes successful or not is another question, start some indepth conversations with my friends and aquatiances around me. It is so easy to just go by the way side in college and not really dive deep into conversation with people, and it sad. We call ourseleves intellectuals at school but it seems like the only time we like to talk about anything challenging is either in Church or school when we are forced to. Enough is enough.
2. Judgement of others is so easy to do when back in the “real world”. I walk around campus and catch myself judging people based on what they are wearing, saying, doing and hanging out with. This is unfortunate because we are called to not judge people, and to treat everyone with respect, and to love the unlovable, we are called to do everything that I desire to do but in practice is super hard! However the fact that I have realized what is going on and that I do this is a step in the right direction. While in Harmons it was so easy to not worry about that, it didnt matter how you dressed, what you said, how you acted, you are human, a product of God, an actual image of God, but also fallen.
Harmons changed me, so if you knew me before this trip let me reintroduce myself, my name is Addison Hawkins, I am a Christian, I believe in the resurrection, I desire to be good and to do good but I am also fallen. Lets grab some coffee and catch up.
Attempted Elucidation 